WAITING

While others are now starting their different lives being independent, here I am, still living under the roof of my loving parents, depending on things they’re providing, feeling lost in my own home, helplessly yearning to find that very thing that God has planned for me. I know to myself that I’m destined to be better than this, that I’ve got way greater things in store for me out there but right now I can’t help myself from feeling so down and envy those individuals who are starting to find their own greatness.

Right now, everything’s so blurry, I don’t even know what I’m praying for. Every day I keep on asking God to give me that very thing that’s meant for me, but that’s it, I have no idea what that thing is, I don’t know what to do in order for me to get that thing and I feel so helpless.

I know I’m looking for a job, something that would make me independent and something that would make me help my family financially. I applied almost every job post online and offline but its three months now since I’ve started looking for it and I haven’t gotten any luck to find one. Now, I’m starting to lose confidence of myself, I would sometimes think that maybe, there’s something wrong with me. I keep on asking God where is it that He has promised me coz up until now, I still don’t have it.

Worst thing right now is that my family is in a very serious financial crisis, they can’t support me sending away from the comfort of this home for me to find a job. My father can’t barely find money to support our daily needs, much more sending me away.

I feel so helpless and I am not really happy with this. But right now, I don’t have the luxury to lose hope and stop trusting God, coz honestly, that’s the only thing that makes me smile every day after every hopeless thoughts I have. I know that it’s just out there, I just need to have a little more patient in waiting. I’ll get there, I’m sure of it. I am painfully hoping and waiting, and I hope God won’t lengthen this delay so much coz I think I’m gonna break. 

What Does Our Hand Tells Us

The thumb, being the biggest of our fingers represents God and the index finger represents us – man. Long time ago, man got separated from God’s love because of sin that is why as you can see, our index finger is far away from our thumb.  It shows us how away we are from our God. After the separation, man tried to live a contented life away from God but failed to have it. There is always missing in their lives. What’s missing? Well, obviously, GOD. Man was not created to be away from Him. The purpose of man’s creation was to please God and having been separated from his purpose, man became weary, violent, liar, lonely and incomplete. In order to fill in what’s lacking, man find ways to bring his self back to God. Man go to church, help others, became good with their families, in short, man does good works in order to bring his self back to Him. But it was said, for all have sinned and fall short in the glory of God, no matter what man does, it’s still not enough, he still can’t reach God and it saddens man so much. On the brighter side, God loves His creation so dearly, He can’t take it seeing them waste their lives, so God made a very huge act to save His people. The middle finger, being the tallest of the fingers represents this huge act that God made. What’s this act? It was said, for God so love the world that He gave His only begotten son that those whoever believes in Him will not perish but will have an eternal life. In order to save man, God sent His only begotten son. But with this act comes an offer, a proposal, like a man proposes a woman for marriage and puts a ring on her ring finger, God also gives a proposal to man that whoever believes (just believe) in Him (His son), will not perish but will have an eternal life. And what man could do? Very simple and very small like our tiniest finger, just believe and accept Jesus as his Lord and personal saviour. Just believe and accept Him wholeheartedly and voila, man is saved.
 

Very easy, right? So, after reading this, I’d like you to know that God is proposing to you saying, “I have sent my Son for your salvation, will you accept Him?”. 

Blessed Beyond Doubts

I believe God speaks to us every day, may it be through an article we read, through a traffic jam, through a picture we see in the web and in many more different forms of communication. We just couldn’t see it sometimes because our minds are so preoccupied with things we have given attention which in the first place should gain the least of our concern with.

I have an experience where God had spoken to me many times but sadly, though I’ve heard Him, doubt had overpowered me and weakened my faith in Him. However, despite the doubts, God has still blessed me.

Right now (16^th of Decemeber, 2014), I am an UMEMPLOYED (still waiting for God’s perfect plan) Registered Chemical Engineer. The board exam was on November 21-23, 2014 and I have received the news that I passed the exam on the 24^th which is the day after the third day of the exam. However, before the victory was achieved, I was on an almost 6 months serious battle of perseverance, trust and faith.

Before this story lengthens, I would like to give you the first message that God had spoken to me and became my verse for this whole battle. It’s from the book of the prophet Isaiah and here it is:

“I will give you the strength you need although you do not know me. I do this so that everyone from one end of the world to the other may know that I am the Lord and there is no other God. I create both light and darkness, I bring both blessings and disaster. I, the Lord do all these things. I will send victory from the sky like rain; the earth will open to receive it and will blossom with freedom and justice. I, the Lord will make this happen.” ISAIAH 45:5-8

This is the very reason why I am writing this right now.  After reading the verse, I told myself that when I pass, I’m gonna make the world (well, if not the whole world, at least some part of the world) know who my God is and who gave me the victory I am enjoying. With this, they will seek who my God is because they’ll know that my God is a very powerful God. 

The first few months of the review were smooth. I do study, yes, but not to the extent that I used up all my energies studying. I even had more time sleeping than solving problems and reading review materials. Confident that the exam is still a few months away, and that I still have a lot of time to study everything I need to learn in order to pass, my heart is not yet troubled and I still have the guts to say that “I’m gonna win this!”. The real battle of faith was not on the first few months but on the last month before the exam. So let’s fast this forward to make the whole story short.

When I only had a month left, I panicked because I know to myself that I really am not ready. Yes I know, there are times that people say they’re not ready even if they are but exclude this one to those times coz I honestly am not ready. Really, really not ready. Due to the pressure, I can no longer study well, I keep on crying while thinking I’m gonna fail, I keep on sleeping (coz that’s what I do when I’m pressured), I cannot do anything well, in short, I am troubled, really, really troubled. With this, I told myself, “I need to find peace”, so, I decided to go to church everyday so that I could solemnly and wholeheartedly talk to God coz I am very much aware that only in Him will I be able to find the peace I need at the moment. And it felt good. On my pursuit of peace, along the way, I was reminded of HEBREWS 11:1.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

This has been one of my life verses but I sadly have forgotten it the time I needed to remember it the most. But gladly, God had pulled me back to Him and reminded me of His promises. I started to regain my shattered faith and I acquired a little confidence but unlike others, I was not strong enough, my faith was not strong enough, and a few days after I regained it, it was shattered again by my doubts. But God, who loves me so much, had spoken to me again and this time, it is through a photo posted on facebook. 

Just see the message of this photo. Amazing. God had really used this one to speak to me and remind me AGAIN of how faithful He is to His promises. See how direct and precise this message is for me. After I read this one, I felt happy and calm believing that God would really help me make it and He would really make me make it. But sadly, when it was a week(I think) before the exam, I was worried again. This time, thinking that I still have a lot to read and a lot to review and I only have a few more days left, I can no longer focus, I always feel uneasy, I kept on crying. At that moment, my faith is 60-40, 60% of me believes I’ll pass and 40% believes I cannot make it. And God, having been so disappointed (I think He is) in my faith had talked to me again. He spoke to me through the reading of the gospel at that day while I was attending the mass. What amazes me with this moment is that the reading on the mass was entirely different from the reading guide we had at home (which I haven’t read yet for that day). While the reading guide points on the verses about Zacchaeus on a sycamore tree, the reading on the mass talks about Jesus walking on the water. While I was listening to the gospel at the church, the line that struck me the most was when Peter sank on the water and Jesus told Him “YOU OF LITTLE FAITH”. By then, I realized that God is now starting to get mad at me (maybe) coz of how doubtful I am despite the promises He has clearly presented to me. (It was only after I have reflected God’s reminder have I knew that the reading was different from the reading guide. It was my friend (who attended the same mass with me and who happened to read the reading pointed on the reading guide) who told me that they were different.)  AMAZING right? Knowing that God really is working for you, knowing that He’s not only listening but also is speaking to you, WOW!, AMAZING! HE IS JUST SO AMAZING.

Starting that day, everytime that doubt would try to invade my heart (and it always does), I just remind myself of the happenings, the verses and the words that God had spoken to me and voila, the fear of failing then flies away.

On the day of the examination, what strengthened me was the thought that “whatever the outcome, I know that God had planned it for me, and since it was His plan for me, it was the best for me.” I learned to hope for the best to happen but with an open heart and mind that if it is not what I desire, I’ll accept it and try again. I told God that whatever’s gonna happen, I’m still gonna praise Him. And I asked Him to give me the heart and strength to accept whatever the result is. I was so blessed coz even if the exam was really hard (trust me, I mean it), God has calmed me all throughout. I managed to survive the three days of torture calmly despite of the fact that on the second day, my sure answers on the exam has not even reached 50% of the total number of items.

The result, like what I have said above was announced the day after the third day, and YES, I PASSED! What I lacked, God has really filled it in for me. Those right answers on the exams were not from my ability but from the grace of God. And I know that He willed it to me coz He knows that I’m gonna make His name known through my victory.

I was victorious and I will always be a victor because my god is God, the one and only true God. 

This is my testimony. GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST. 

STAY GROUNDED

             I’m a one step closer to reaching one of my endeavors in life. As of the moment, I am reviewing for a board exam. Yes, I am chemical engineer in the making. God knows how badly I want to pass, however, there is one thing I am afraid to happen.

See, I grew having lots of expectations from people around me, though it’s such a pain, it makes me feel so proud whenever they congratulate me to every success I have. However, the more “congratulation” I get, the more proud I become. This is what I am being afraid of. I don’t wanna lose myself and get drowned in the sea of success. We are all human, and I guess, this is one of traits human being has – boastful. I owe everything to God and I it scares me that one day, I’ll forget him and become so much in love with myself and with the luxuries of success.

Who doesn't want to get rich? Who doesn't want to be famous? Who doesn't want to be a well-respected person? Who doesn't want to succeed? Everybody does, however, as for me, if I succeed but lose myself in the process, I’d rather die unsuccessful.

Right now, I am pleading to God that He may grant my wish and that is to become a REGISTERED CHEMICAL ENGINEER and be able to practice in my field of expertise. But this plea comes with a condition that He would always disturb me and reminds me to remain grounded in everything I achieve. That in every success I acquire, all praises, honor and recognition would ALWAYS go to Him.  IT’S NOT BAD TO WANT TO SUCCEED, WHAT’S BAD IS TO FORGET THE ONE WHOM WE OWE OUR SUCCESS WITH.
WORK HARD, SUCCEED BUT REMAIN GROUNDED. With this, God will always bless you with greater things than you couldn't possibly imagine.

 1 PETER 5:6

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.                        

Exercise of Faith

It is in the impossibility of things that miracles happen and it is in those moments that our faith in Him is being tested.

God works in ways we humans can never imagine and understand. If we’ll always remain faithful in Him, then we’ll expect to receive lots of miracles. The stronger the faith, the greater the miracle.

I am expecting a miracle to happen this month and by the time it happens, I’ll testify and shout to the world how the impossible for humans became possible in Him and how a strong faith moves mountains. 

HEBREWS 11:1

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
#ExerciseYourFaith

PHOTO

BE BLESSED. :)

Me and God

Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God: Sure

Me: Promise You won't get mad
... ... ... ... ...

God: I promise

Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do u mean?

Me: Well, I woke up late

God: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start

God: Okay

Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

God: Huummm

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God: All right

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager 


& relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?


God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one


of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that

Me (humbled): OH

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit 


you if you were on the road.

Me: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what 


they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.

Me (embarrassed):Okay

God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness 


about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Me (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in 


your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm Sorry God

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.

Me: I will trust You.

God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.

God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My 


Children...












(REPOSTed from facebook.)

6 Things to Keep in Mind

1. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. 
2. What other people think of you is none of your business. 
3. Time heals almost everything, give time. 
4. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. 
5. Don't compare your life to others, don't judge them. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 
6. Smile. You don't own all the problems in the world. :)




(Note: This post isn't mine. I have just copied it from a text message sent to me by a friend.)

Mr. RIGHT

It's been a hard quest for us girls to find the perfect man whom we'll entrust our whole being with. For us, as much as possible, we want a perfect man. One who is strong, courageous, smart, loving, caring, understanding, God fearing, gentle and handsome inside out. But as of our generation today, it's hard to find a man who possess even just three of those characteristics that we want him to have. It's like finding a needle among the bushes.

I've been thinking lately, how may I able to find Mr. Perfect? I don't wanna grow old alone. I wanna find him. I'm already 19 and a couple of years from now, I will be graduating college and I want that as soon as I have finished taking my board exam, I will start finding him. Enough already for those self control, I will start to open my heart to any man. Yeah, I know, true love waits. But how long will I be waiting? I want to be in a relationship with my perfect  man for at least five years before marrying and give my whole self to him. I don't want to commit a mistake. I already have done once and once is enough. I will not fall to the wrong one again.

They say, we need to experience something in order for us to learn, but for me, as much as possible, I want to learn it from other's experiences. I may not have enough experiences, but I know, I already have enough lessons learned from the experiences of my friends. And one of those lessons is that there really is no Mr. Perfect, only Mr. Right. The right one that God had been thinking when He had created us. One whom we cannot stop our self from loving with and when we see him, we can say that we're willing to ignore all other handsome and perfect guys around us. He may not possess all the characteristics we want him to have, yet, we still love him.

As of now, I have not found him yet, but when I find him, I promise that I will never let go of him.

Funny

It's funny how the person I hate so much before is the one I'm in love with right now.

The person who always gives me an irritated face is one who makes me smile.

The person whom I want to lose out of my sight is the one I wanna see so badly.

The person I don't wanna talk to is the one I've been exchanging silly and nonsense jokes.

It's just so funny how the person I don't wanna get near before is the same person I wanna spend the rest of my forever.